2022: My Year of Rest

When I left the classroom in the summer of 2020 I thought the relief would be immediate. I thought my body would sense this newfound safety. That it would relinquish the worry and dead weight. That rest would come easy.

It did not come easy.

In fact, it didn’t come at all.

Instead, I took all of that anxious energy I’d been swimming in for four and a half years (really, the past decade) and channelled it into writing as much as I possibly could. I wrote two picture books, the first installment in a new middle grade series, a novel-in-verse, and an early graphic novel. All while revising my sophomore YA and promoting my debut.

I worked seven days a week because I could. Because that’s what I was used to after a decade of writing alongside full-time work. 60 hours a week was my baseline. My brain didn’t know how to do anything else. It didn’t even want to try.

And it was easy to justify the hours I was spending in front of my laptop because everyone online seemed to be doing the same. They were taking up knitting and learning a new language and losing weight and using lockdown as an opportunity to “win” at life, which shouldn’t be a game to begin with. Specifically, within the writing community, I felt this pressure to produce even more acutely. Because even though people were often tweeting about the importance of slowing down and giving yourself grace because we were in the middle of a pandemic for christ’s sake those tweets were often followed by celebratory screenshots of how many words they’d managed to write that day.

It was frustrating and yet it fueled me because it validated this need to overwork that I’d been cultivating my entire life. Since I was a student striving for all As. Since I was a recent college graduate working on building my self-publishing career. Since I was a teacher arriving early and staying late; spending my weekends grading and lesson planning, and oh yeah, working on my debut novel.

But recently, something has unraveled in me.

Maybe it’s the past two years of watching our government treat people as though they’re expendable. Maybe it’s the past two years of watching individuals treat each other with the same disdain. But I see capitalism as the disease that it is. I see all of the ways it’s made me sick while pretending to be the very medicine meant to make me well.

I’ve realized that rest is radical and that it’s not something you earn it’s something you take. Something you steal. Something you fight for tooth and nail.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I’m scrapping my production plan, the five books I was going to write this year paused indefinitely. Instead, I’m pouring myself into a single project, I’m committing to a reduced schedule, and I’m going to see what happens when I prioritize something other than work.

What happens to my career.

What happens to my mind.

My body.

My spirit.

You Have the Money

This past weekend was the third weekend in a row that I didn’t let myself do any work. My attempt at resting on the weekends has been a year-long journey, full of starts and stops, and many anxiety-ridden days where I failed to just be still. But rest, like everything, takes practice.

Stepping away from the work, even for short periods of time, is scary for me. But just because it makes me anxious and jittery and irritable doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And the good news? Those feelings do subside. Over time. After trying and failing and trying again. It gets easier.

What has also helped is coming to the realization that this need to hustle, to grind, to work myself to the bone, isn’t my true nature. It’s something that’s been shoved down my throat; forced onto my identity. It’s who capitalism wants me to be…but it isn’t me.

Now when I think of rest I think of it as a radical act. And I remind myself that I shouldn’t have to sell three books a year just to make it as an author. The financial inequities faced by authors of color in publishing is not a problem that can be fixed by my own overproduction. And that’s the goal, isn’t it? Not just that I can somehow figure out a way to continue writing and publishing full-time but that all authors from marginalized backgrounds can have that same option.

So it’s not on me to fix this. It’s on publishing.

How?

Stop requiring significantly more labor from your marginalized authors in order for them to build careers. Stop putting it on marginalized creators to figure out how to navigate an obviously biased system. Throw out your P&L reports and commit to paying marginalized creators a living wage, not because of the slim chance you can make a return on your investment in a world where books by and about BIPOC are systematically at a disadvantage, but because it’s the right thing to do.

Because achieving equity doesn’t always make financial sense.

Justice doesn’t always turn a profit.

If you’re just a business, make that clear. But if you’re one of those businesses that came out publicly in support of Black lives, of the Latinx community, of the Asian community, and the Muslim community, and every other marginalized community that has experienced violence in recent years due to white supremacy and systemic racism then it’s time for you to give up some of that power you promised you would.

By taking care of the whole author. That means enough money to pay their rent, their bills, their physical and mental healthcare. Enough money to invest, to buy a home, to build wealth.

Take a look at your lists. How many of those authors deserve the chance to be fully supported by their work? How many of those authors could avoid burnout and the negative toll to their physical and mental health if you’d just make that happen? Yes. You.

You who gave a prince 20 million dollars for a memoir. You who gave a white woman with no connection to immigrants from Central America seven figures to write an extremely harmful version of their experiences. You who gave a multi-million dollar deal to a vice president who participated in the eroding of our democracy, in the practice of government sanctioned child abuse at the border, in the spread of misinformation during a deadly pandemic that killed hundreds of thousands of people.

You have the money to pay marginalized authors more than a living wage.

You have the money to pay assistants and editors and other publishing professionals what they’re actually worth.

You have the money to create an equitable and compassionate system.

You have the money to do what’s necessary.

You have the money to do what’s right.

So do it.

What Does a Typical Day Look Like for a Full-time Author?

I’ve participated in many Q&As over the past ten months since promo for my debut novel, Somewhere Between Bitter and Sweet, first began and I’m often asked what a typical day looks like for me now that I’m writing full time. The truth is there is no such thing as a “typical” day so to illustrate that I’ll be giving you the occasional glimpse into my work week, starting with this week!

Monday, June 28th – Friday, July 2nd

MONDAY:

8:00 AM-9:00 AM: 1) Woke up 2) Fed the dogs 3) Took the puppy to daycare for socialization
9:30 AM-10:30 AM: Yoga
11:00 AM-12:00 PM: 1) Looked at two things authors are never supposed to look at: Goodreads & Bookscan 2) Checked on my budget/finances through YNAB 3) Answered emails
12:00 PM-12:30 PM: Read over the application instructions for Tanya Saracho’s Ojalá Ignition Lab
12:30 PM-1:00 PM: Ate lunch (turkey sandwich if you’re curious)
1:00 PM-1:30 PM: Tried to figure out how to delete pages from a PDF
1:30 PM-3:30 PM: Finalized my TV show pitch and submitted it along with a writing sample to the Ojalá Ignition Lab (fingers crossed it gets picked!)
3:30 PM-4:00 PM: Worked on stuff for Las Musas
4:00 PM-5:30 PM: Finally finished reading the amazing incredible wonderful FIFTEEN HUNDRED MILES FROM THE SUN by Jonny Garza Villa. I typically like to block off 4:00 PM-5:00 PM every work day for reading but I’ve been dealing with a lot of tension headaches and other migraine symptoms this month so it was taking me longer to finish things than it normally does.
5:30 PM-6:00 PM: Responded to tweets and messages on social media

TUESDAY:

8:00 AM-9:00 AM: 1) Woke up 2) Fed the dogs 3) Played with them inside because it was raining
9:00 AM-10:00 AM: 1) Checked on my budget/finances through YNAB (this is a daily habit that keeps my goals top of mind) 2) Worked on stuff for Las Musas 3) Added something to the “News” section of my website
10:30 AM-11:30 AM: Yoga
12:00 PM-12:30 PM: Ate lunch (another turkey sandwich because I’m boring)
12:30 PM-1:00 PM: 1) Answered emails form my agent (one was about the upcoming press release for my new MG novel and the other was related to submission strategies for my next five projects) 2) Searched for a few illustrators to approach about collaborating on an Early Graphic Novel and sent the names to my agent
1:00 PM-1:30 PM: 1) Worked on this blog post 2) Added one more thing to the “News” section of my website
1:30 PM-1:45 PM: Social Media Break!
1:45 PM-3:00 PM: Added 1 poem to my novel-in-verse WIP (my goal was 4 but then I had an allergy attack because it started to rain and I’m allergic to mold)
3:00 PM-3:30 PM: Switched to outlining and sketched out the rest of the novel
3:30 PM-4:00 PM: 1) Got excited because I received an invite to be a guest on my favorite publishing podcast ever! 2) Worked on stuff for Las Musas & The Latinx Kidlit Book Festival
4:00 PM-4:30 PM: Did not have the energy for reading because of all of the Benadryl I took but I did have just enough energy to clean out my Downloads folder on my laptop to free up some memory!
4:30 PM-5:00 PM: Worked on some more stuff for Las Musas & The Latinx Kidlit Book Festival

WEDNESDAY

8:00 AM-9:00 AM: 1) Woke up 2) Fed the dogs 3) Took them both to daycare
9:00 AM-9:30 AM: 1) Checked on my budget/finances through YNAB 2) Worked on a few things for Las Musas
9:30 AM-11:00 AM: Added 2 poems to my novel-in-verse WIP (hoping to make up some ground today since I wasn’t feeling great yesterday and ended my writing session early)
11:00 AM-11:30 AM: Worked on stuff for Las Musas
11:30 AM-12:00 PM: Added another poem to my novel-in-verse WIP for a total of 3.
12:00 PM-1:00 PM: Lunch break (Oatmeal with mango, coconut flakes, and chocolate chips)
1:00 PM-1:30 PM: Worked on creating questions for an upcoming NerdCamp panel discussion on the topic: Ethical Strategies for Exploring the Latinx Experience through Young Adult Novels
1:30 PM-3:30 PM: Started working on a presentation for the Writer’s League of Texas about “Writing Through Difficult Times”
3:30 PM-4:00 PM: Worked on some stuff for Las Musas and the Latinx Kidlit Book Festival

THURSDAY

8:30 AM-9:00 AM: 1) Woke up a little late (whoops!) 2) Discovered that one of the dogs threw up so I had to clean his bed 3) Fed the dogs
9:00 AM-9:30 AM: 1) Checked on my budget/finances through YNAB 2) Worked on some stuff for Las Musas
9:30 AM-11:00 AM: Took the puppy to training (today was a long walk)
11:00 AM-12:00 PM: Took the puppy to the vet (now she’s pooped)
12:00 PM-12:30 PM: 1) Lunch break (leftover chicken satay with rice noodles and pickled carrots, onions, garlic, and ginger) 2) Ordered groceries for the week
12:30 PM-2:00 PM: Shower (it’s a wash day) and styling for an event tonight. I have super thick super curly hair so it’s a process.
2:00 PM-2:30 PM: 1) Folded Laundry 2) Put away the groceries (and asked myself how this turned into an “adulting” day instead of a writing day)
2:30 PM-4:00 PM: 1) Decided no writing would get done today and that’s okay 2) Pulled together some financial documents I’ll need for a mortgage application next week 3) Worked on some stuff for Las Musas
4:00 PM-5:00 PM: Continued reading The Firekeeper’s Daughter
5:00 PM-6:00 PM: 1) Got ready for my evening virtual event 2) Ate an early dinner (a burger from Mighty Fine)
6:00 PM-7:00 PM: Virtual Event with some fellow Musas!

FRIDAY

8:30 AM-9:00 AM: 1) I woke up late again (dangit!) 2) Fed the dogs
9:30 AM-11:30 AM: 1) Yoga 2) Went back to the vet because Gambit accidentally ate the puppy’s medication so I had to refill it (again! Also, Gambit’s fine FYI.)
11:30 AM-12:00 PM: Shower
12:00 PM-1:00 PM: Long lunch break chatting with my partner
1:00 PM-2:00 PM: 1) Answered emails 2) Researched an in-person event I might be attending in the Fall (and realized that it overlaps with another event I might be attending in the Fall)
2:30 PM-3:00 PM: Worked on some stuff for Las Musas
3:00 PM-5:00 PM: Put together my July newsletter and shared it with subscribers
*No writing today either but I’m doing this new thing where I no longer measure my value as a human being by how much I’m able to produce so I’m going to consider this “easy” day a win since it shows I’m actually making progress towards the things that matter like taking better care of myself.

Author Pep Talks

2020 has been absolutely apocalyptic, making writing and being creative even harder. But I’ve written through tragedy before. I wrote my first novel as a teenager in my father’s hospice room.

Back then, writing was the thread between me & this immense pain and grief and what was on the other side–my future, my dreams. I wrote my way to them, one word at a time.

That doesn’t mean writing on deadline or drafting new projects this year was a breeze. But I found myself using many of the survival tactics & coping mechanisms I’ve become all too familiar with over the years & was grateful that I’d cultivated those skills before the pandemic hit, my mother-in-law lost her battle to cancer, and my grandfather was re-diagnosed.

This podcast is for any writer who’s struggled this year, who’s been scared. The writers I’m interviewing know hardship. But most importantly, they know how to write through it.

Through biweekly interviews, exclusive pep talks from their hearts to yours, they’ll be telling us how they do it. And by finding inspiration in their stories and taking their advice, it’s my hope that we can learn how to write through this hellscape too.

Check out the introduction here.

Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or check out the homepage on Anchor.

There’s also an Author Pep Talks website! Check it out to find more information about the authors, as well as links to any resources mentioned in the episode.

And there’s even a form for you to submit your own pep talk. So if you’re an author who has experience maintaining a creative practice through difficult times, please fill it out so I can get in touch for an interview. Some of the topics we’ve covered so far include chronic pain and other health issues, anxiety, depression, difficult family dynamics, and multi-generational trauma.

These conversations have been so nourishing for me personally & I really hope that they feed your creative spirit the same way. I care so deeply for all of my fellow authors and I have desperately wanted to hug each and every one of you during this devastating season of pain and loss. So consider this that hug.

I love you. I made this for you. And I hope that knowing you’re not alone in this–in the grief and the doubt and the fear–makes your writing journey just a little bit easier.

Here are those links again

Podcast: https://bit.ly/38yruWS 

Website: https://www.authorpeptalkspod.com/ 

Twitter: https://bit.ly/2LYFKQY Instagram: https://bit.ly/34Kow0f

A Non-writing Work Day

I have been a full-time author for seven months. In that time I’ve turned in a draft of the second book on my contract, finished and sold two picture book manuscripts, and revised and sold a middle grade novel. But for the past seven weeks while waiting on my edit letter for my second YA novel, I’ve been taking a step back from writing and exploring other creative outlets.

When I was teaching, writing was my escape. Now that writing is my full-time job, I needed another. So I recently started a podcast called Author Pep Talks, which is a podcast on writing through grief, trauma, and heartache, in which I interview authors who have personal experience balancing writing with difficult experiences and who offer advice on how to maintain a creative practice even when it feels like everything else in the world is falling apart.

The introduction aired on Christmas day and the first episode went live just yesterday! So please check it out and if you enjoy the first episode, remember to like and subscribe!

I’ve also been working on launching a podcast for an organization I’m a part of called Las Musas. The teaser went live on December 28th and the first episode airs on Monday, January 4th. There are a few ongoing series all about debut year and then an “Ask a Musa” series where we’ll be answering listener questions. I hope you’ll give it a listen and follow us wherever you enjoy your podcasts.

Right now, these two endeavors have absolutely no ties to my income and I love it. It’s so nice to be working on these passion projects that allow me to be creative in a whole new way. I’ve learned to edit audio files, have become so much more comfortable listening to my own voice on a recording, and I’ve met so many awesome people who I wouldn’t have otherwise reached out to.

I’m also three months out from debut so I’m taking care of lots of admin-related tasks, such as sending out ARCs, creating graphics for social media, and planning virtual events for April. So I thought I’d give those who are curious a snapshot of what a “non-writing work day” looks like for me as of late.

7:00 AM
The puppy is awake! Take her out to potty and then hold her teething ring while she gnaws on it. Try to share her doing something cute on my Insta stories like wriggling under the bed or sucking on her hedgehog but it’s tough because she’s camera shy.

8:00 AM
Gambit’s awake and everyone’s hungry. I feed the dogs, take my vitamins, and eat a breakfast bar. There wasn’t any rain last night so we play in the backyard, which as per usual, is me and Gambit playing fetch while Storm has the zoomies.

9:00 AM
Storm’s getting sleepy. I turn off all the lights and pretend to nap until Storm dozes off. Really I’m checking email on my phone.

9:15 AM
I put Storm back in her crate for a nap and finally grab my laptop. I answer emails, create my checklist for the day, and then begin working my way through it.

Today, my checklist looked like this:
1. Read edit letter & jot down notes.
2. Read editors in-line comments & jot down notes
3. Finish blog post on reflections over 7-week break
4. Write new blog post on identity & POV characters
5. Write *this blog post* about my schedule on a non-writing work day
6. Edit episode three of the Author Pep Talks podcast
7. Record the intro/outro for episode 3
8. Record pep talks #2 & #3
9. Send emails to creative writing teachers to schedule virtual school visits
10. Write 4 librarian postcards for a total of 9/50
11. Look for tea blends to send my grandfather
12. Create the social graphics for Author Pep Talks launch day

9:30 AM
I read my editor’s edit letter and am relieved that no issues were pointed out that I wasn’t already expecting. I jot some notes in my phone of possible solutions to some character development issues. Then I open the manuscript and read her in-line comments, savoring the really nice ones.

10:00 AM
I hop on WordPress and finish writing the blog post I started the night before. I tend to be struck by inspiration for blog posts all at once so I’ll be prepping and scheduling multiple posts today.

After I finish the blog post reflecting on the seven weeks I just spent taking a break from writing, I switch to writing a blog post about identity and POV characters. I use notes from a presentation I gave recently as a basis for the post and detail how I try to make ethical choices as a storyteller by “staying in my lane” in terms of writing rep for pov characters. After I schedule the post, I move on to this one and outline what a non-writing workday looks like for me until I’m interrupted by the dogs again.

12:00 PM
Gambit wakes up the puppy but it’s okay because it’s lunch time and I need a break. We go outside and Storm finds a piece of trash and I chase her around the backyard for twenty minutes until she gets tired and collapses in the grass. I play fetch with Gambit until he’s tired and then they both lay in the sun while I make my lunch.

12:30 PM
I’m one of those people who eats the same thing for lunch every single day. Mind you, I will go through phases in which I switch it up but I can go months eating the same meal and still enjoy it. For the past few weeks I’ve been eating a giant Honey crisp apple with almond butter, cheese, and salted pretzels.

1:00 PM
I play with the dogs some more–tug-of-war with a ratty rope we should have thrown away a long time ago but haven’t because for some reason they love it–and then I hold Storm’s teething hedgehog until she finally starts to get sleepy again.

1:50 PM
I feed Storm a little early since she’s starting to get sleepy. Gambit doesn’t get lunch so he pouts on the couch.

2:00 PM
Storm goes down for a nap and I set up my mic in my office to record some things for my Author Pep Talks podcast, which includes an intro and outro for the third interview and two short episodes where I give a pep talk to writers.

3:00 PM
Storm wakes up an hour early from her nap! I play with the dogs AGAIN but they’re being lazy so I try to work on filling out some postcards for librarians at the kitchen table while they lounge in the sun. This doesn’t work and when Storm starts digging holes I bring them inside.

4:00 PM
Storm’s sleepy but she won’t let me put her in her crate for a nap so I put on the Ariana Grande concert on Netflix for the dogs while I add some more timestamps to this blog post. Storm is fascinated and doesn’t take her eyes off the screen.

4:30 PM
The intro for the Author Pep Talks podcast goes up in a few days (I’m actually writing this on Thursday, December 24th) so I open Canva to make some promotional graphics. I also type up some copy to post with my Twitter and Instagram announcements.

5:00 PM
The Las Musas podcast launches next week so I go ahead and type up some copy for those promotional posts. Storm finally dozes off.

5:20 PM
I check Twitter to pull book news for the Las Musas newsletter, which I’m taking over in 2021.

5:30 PM
Storm wakes up again and I know I won’t be able to check anything else off my to-do list for the day so those leftover tasks will carry over for tomorrow.

In total, I got about four and a half hours of work done, which compared to my pre-puppy schedule isn’t a lot. But I’m so glad that I no longer have to squeeze in these tasks in between teaching, which means that those 5-7 days a week of working 4-ish hours really adds up quickly.

I’m also trying to see the positive in being forced to take breaks. Tending to the dogs helps ground me in the present and I love getting those much-needed doses of vitamin C while we play in the backyard together. Also, I’ve come to realize that play is so important. It’s joyous and liberating and just overall great for the soul.