Waiting

I hate waiting. Another side effect of my constant need to be in control of absolutely everything all the time. But life doesn’t exactly work that way. Life doesn’t make room for you and your baggage, it doesn’t yield to your will, and it doesn’t bend to make your dreams come true. It doesn’t even believe in dreams. Which is why it likes to hurl those curve balls out of nowhere–your transmission going out, coming down with the flu, losing your job, apocalypse. But even though the universe may not make it easy to believe in dreams I still do. I have to. We all do. And there’s no shame in dreaming and there’s no shame in waiting.

There is no shame in being stuck by circumstance. That’s life–getting stuck. But life is also about finding your way back out, about taking every setback with a grain of salt and using it to propel you forward. Even if that step forward is slight, even if it’s apprehensive, the important thing is that we’re still moving forward. Always.

So I’m moving forward. I’m staying focused on the big picture and despite my circumstances I’m still planning, I’m still writing, and most importantly I’m still dreaming.

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6 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. pishnguyen says:

    This post, like so many of your wonderful entries, resonated with me. I can feel my heart vibrating in agreement.

    Particularly this: “That’s life — getting stuck. But life is also about finding your way back out, about taking every setback with a grain of salt and using it to propel you forward. Even if that step forward is slight …” Just … fantastic and wise words.

    I feel like I’ve been stuck by circumstances and life for a looooong time. Much longer than I would like to admit. Much longer than I would like to be true. But it is true. Right now, I’m struggling with moving forward, even a little, as opposed to remaining stuck so I can beat myself up over the things that have happened.

    I hope you are able to continue moving forward. I hope whatever setback you have encountered ends up being as temporary as possible, and that it can (maybe?) even help springboard you along toward your goal. I’ll be cheering for you!

    • Oh I’m so glad you connected with it! I’ve been having to give myself quite a few pep talks lately and it’s nice to hear that it’s helping other people feel better about their own situations. Becoming an “adult” or at least all of the growing up I’ve done in the past two years has really humbled me. I used to think that as long as I was in control and as long as I did my best that life would sort of work out and I would achieve all of my goals. But what I’ve learned is that none of us can be in control of absolutely everything and we have to learn to go with the flow. We have to learn to be forgiving, not only of the universe, but of ourselves. And we have to learn to be patient. I still want things and I’m still working every day towards achieving my dreams but it’s also important not to drive yourself crazy thinking about all of the things you could do more or better. We have to stop keeping score with ourselves and start celebrating the small victories.

  2. hesthermay says:

    Thank you for this post. I can relate to what you wrote. Especially in the last months/year, I’ve felt stuck in my circumstances as my desire for writing has grown stronger. But it’s all about taking one step at the time and living wholeheartedly in the situation and circumstance one is currently in.
    🙂

    • I’m glad you can relate. That’s the exact feeling I’ve been grappling with–this powerful desire to write despite not always having the time or resources to make it happen. It’s frustrating when you feel like you’ve finally found your purpose but reality is still standing in the way. I still try and hold onto the belief that as long as you’re following your passion that you can never go wrong but it’s definitely hard not to doubt my own certainty about the path I’ve chosen when things aren’t going as well as I’d hoped. I’m just hoping my perseverance will win out and I’ll end up finding success someday by default because I never let myself give up.

  3. I’ve often found the times of feeling stuck, motionless, or down are the moments building up to great change. It’s like you have to be down before you can go up. I bet an amazing period in your life will be right around the corner 🙂

    • I hope so!! And if that’s true, it sure has been a long and tedious build-up. I’m going to just try and focus on taking one day at a time and not obsessing over how far I still have to go but instead on the small victories. Thanks for your comment!

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