I’m the type who tries to plan every hour of every day at least five years in advance. I don’t fear change–burying a parent at 18 will teach you that things don’t always happen the way they should and that you can’t control everything–but I would much rather be the driving force behind any changes in my life rather than a helpless bystander. Yesterday was my last official day as part of the 9-5 workforce that sucks the life out of so many of us creative types and today is my first official day as a full-time author.
I hadn’t planned to leave my job so soon–I have student teaching next semester and was anticipating staying around until January–but then the universe intervened and I really had no choice. Work stress is one of the worst kinds, not only because that’s where we all spend most of our time, but also because it seems like the majority of people in leadership roles are borderline psychotic and therefore there is only one means of escape for those of us caught in their cross-hares. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding my early departure, the point is that I’m FREE.
I woke up at 9AM this morning and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m sure the next few days will be the same. But it’s a wonderful feeling. I took an “artistic sabbatical” once before while I was writing Breathing Ghosts but all it amounted to was six months of stressing about money and the eventuality of finding a job and the BIG UNKNOWN that was my future. This time around I feel like I’m standing at the precipice of something wonderful. The future is no longer dark and obscure but wide open and expanding in an infinite number of directions. This time around I have options and that is true freedom. And it’s all thanks to my readers. You all have given me the financial freedom and the courage to pursue my dreams and I can’t wait to begin this adventure with all of you by my side; I can’t wait to share more stories with you; I can’t wait to be the most unencumbered, most creative, most authentic version of myself I’ve ever been. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
And now, after such a devastatingly long break, it’s finally time to start putting Bryn’s nightmares to bed.