It’s my first edition of Indie Life, a monthly feature hosted by The Indelibles highlighting all of the struggles and triumphs inherent to being indie. I’ve talked before about how hard it is to be an indie author but never has it been more evident than during this writing sabbatical.
I hit a wall today. I felt it yesterday just as I’d hit the 20K mark on my latest WIP but I pushed through it, forcing out another four thousand words. Today I couldn’t even manage one. I was burned out mentally and even though it’s terribly frustrating, it’s no surprise.
This sabbatical has been one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done but the truth is that it comes at the expense of me earning an income. This means that every day must be used to the fullest, every hour maximized, every goal met. Whether I’m tired or not, whether I’m burned out or not, whether I’m inspired or not. So I’ve been pushing for 50 days straight, only taking a day off when I was forced to by circumstances outside my control. And this is what it means to be indie. It means that weekends don’t exist, that dinner gets forgotten more often than not, that writing trumps laundry and sometimes showering. It means that until writing is paying the bills I will not stop. I can’t.
So as much as I love feeling like I’m in total control of my own destiny, sometimes the desire for that destiny controls me. And sometimes that’s not good. Dedication is a good thing. Sacrificing your health and well-being is not. So I’m not going to sit here and beat myself up about not meeting my word count goal for the day. Instead I’m going to step away from my desk, have a snack, jump on the elliptical, and then take a nice hot bath because I deserve it.
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